Friday, January 05, 2007
PAH! Speak good english? No. Just speak english.
5:20 PM
This is goin' to be long.
I furcking swear.
So read on at ur own discretion.
*burps*
*takes a deep breath*
Thursday, or was it wednesday.
Oh fuck it.
I had the most filled with imbeciles day.
No one understood a morsel of english.
NOT A FURCKING WORD.
Bullocks.
Hello? wot happened to english being a (shld i use an?)
universal language. (btw an sounded wrong so i used a)
I have people coming up to me going... shi vik ghajhu1hnkflo2000531 dollar?
I'm like BWWWAHHHTTT????
Hello i dun speak frigging korean/russian/japanese/french/german/indian/tamil/portugese/malay/philiponowords(which by the way i don't know wot its called)/burmese/etc/etc/etc/etc/etc/etc/etc/etc
So, naturally being the nice salesgirl i am
I point to the sign.
"Read" "read" i say.
Well, naturally they can't read too.
Even though there are korean/japanese/malay words on the board
You think they know their own native language.
But they surprise u.
Chinese english i know.
Vatever else.
I dunnoe.
Dun look at me like i'm friggin dumb or something.
And frown and purrrrsseeee ur lips together and pout.
Learnnnnn english! sheesh.
And wot dumbass comes to singapore without enough cash on hand
Come on. Ur a tourist.
We need to sap your money.
Duh.
There i was, this afternoon. Telling this two
(I suppose are russian) men to pay me 22 bucks
I was like "errm sir. It's 22 bucks ..You've only given me 20"
And one of them goes "ah...okok I pay i pay. ya."
And naturally i stare back with the antonio bandares cat in shrek 2 like eyes.
meow.
And i continue naturally staring with the antonio bandares cat in shrek 2 like eyes.
After wot seemed like a friggin eternity. The men furrows his brows at me
Purrrs.
In my most impeccably sweet immaculate voice i try to reach out to him
Using the most simple words and gesture.
"2 dollars more sir. 22 dollars"
And he goes again "ya. I pay. No change."
At this point you can imagine how i am already fuming deep inside
Yet i press on, naturally being a good salegirl rite.
Right.
This time i try a more tactful approach.
Supposing my client knows math.
I take up the two tickets.
One reads $12 and the other read $10
And i flag it infront of the two men's eyes.
"$22 dollar! $22 dollar"
But. In vain. i hear "ya i pay no change"
Finally i give up and hand it over to my college.
Well. I have to admit he is smarter than me.
He takes out a two dollar and waves it.
and like a bright spark flashed in their eyes and comprehendo~
FINITO.
they dig for coins.
And i get my $2.
Sweet.
My fire hasnt completely died down yet.
And the friggin indian kid that just got his photo taken starts talkin to me.
At that point of time i was already talkin to the customer next in line.
I was busy gesturing again to another illiterate how much the photo costs.
and that idiot was goin
"excuse me. Excuse me.
Excuse me. Excuse me. EXXXCUUUUUUUSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEE MEEEE."Oh bugger shut up.
SHUT UP.
SHUT UP. SHUT UP.Naturally i dun tell him to shut up.
I tell him to pls hold on.
But he goes on to say.
HOW LONG HOW LONG HOW LONG repeatedly.
ARRGH.
So i have come to a conclusion that irritating pesky kids need to be slaughtered.
And i need an internal translator that spews out bits of foreign language as subtittles transplanted in my head.
You think they have that?
written, Nicole
